Hello folks who wonder if scrolling on Instagram is like making your thumb exercise by walking it on a treadmill,
Let's imagine you were a kid for a second during the initial days of the COVID pandemic era. So there is nothing better to do than play with a ball in the kitchen that is off limits for toys. But you like to go against the establishment. "Little rebel" is what you call yourself, because no one else will. One day after several warnings by your mom not to play in the kitchen, you throw the ball a little harder and it ends up hitting the juice jug. At that point you have two options to clean up the juice spill. The first option is to soak all the juice using a sponge or the second option is to sip all the spilled juice using your boba straws. (I knew you would say use a paper towel, that is why I had to bring in the COVID era precondition)
One of the most selfish things anyone can do during the start of the pandemic is to go outside. That is why when this fly got stuck with me in my apartment and pleaded to let it outside, I had to explain that I can't compromise the health of someone's granny because it wanted to be in nature. Think about the society, not about yourself, you selfish prick! And wash your hands every 30 seconds for at least 20 seconds, I don't want you to spread COVID to me. Below is the heartbroken fly reminiscing about what life was like before the pandemic.
One of the ingenious ways flies have evolved to exploit their environment is by developing specialized mouthparts that help them soak their food quickly before it is swatted or displaced by a larger insect or animal. Here is how the fly mouthpart looks up-close.
Just like the proboscis of a butterfly, it is retracted when not in use. As soon as it lands on your soda can or on a flower, it extends its proboscis and starts soaking up the sugary liquid. Observe how this blowfly makes sure it has soaked each area of the flower before moving to the next flower.
Now if observing the regular run of the mill flies is not your cup of kombucha, I recommend you to find a fresh batch of cow poop or dung. Fresh cow dung is interpreted as free daycare by several insects. Over there you might stumble into several yellow-colored fuzzy flies eagerly waiting for their turn to shine on Instagram.
At first, you might look at that and say "that's cool" and move on. But then you would miss out on the fun. What is happening on the cow dung is a bunch of male yellow dung flies impatiently waiting for a female fly who has her Facebook status as single to land on this dung so they can mate with her.
There is intense competition among the males to ensure it is their genes that get passed along. So, if and when a female mates with another male outside the dung arena, the males on the dung will actively try to dig out the sperm of their competitor before releasing their sperm. In a way the one who mates the last with the female has the highest chance of ensuring most of the babies have their genes. I did not have any good visuals for this phenomenon, so here is a dog digging up snow and I will let your imagination do the rest.
While waiting for a female to land on the cow dung, the males will boss each other around to show who is the highest in the pecking order. Hint: it's usually the largest one or the one with the most number of twitter followers.
As soon as the female fly lands, one of the males will jump on to her and start mating without asking for consent first. I suspect a #metoo movement for these flies might be just around the corner. If only they can set up a HR department first. Here is a male guarding a female so no other male mates with her before she can lay her eggs. That is till...
.. a group of other jelly males start fighting over paternity rights. "Guys, you are fighting over shit, you realize that right?" I said before moving on. I wasn't wrong if you think about it.
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