Hello folks who wonder if in the future most breakups and divorces will be directly attributed to climate change,

Let's take a look at the transcript of a 911 call about an armed robbery.

Dispatcher: 911, What's your Emergency?

Caller: Hi, we had an intruder in the house who ran away with our belongings.

Dispatcher: And what's your address?

Caller: Yes, it's 19 Thorne Lane, Camp Hill.

Dispatcher: What did the person look like?

Caller: It's a man with a gun and..

Dispatcher: Let me stop you right there. Did you ask their gender?

Caller: What?!!

Dispatcher: I said, did you ask the intruder their preferred gender? Why do you have to assume their gender, you piece of trash. Can you use something else to describe the suspect?

Caller: Yes, the suspect was wearing a red shirt and blue pants.

Dispatcher: Excuse me, you know you are using terms that would not be inclusive to people who are color blind, ya know. Anything else?

Caller: Yes, it's an Asian person.

Dispatcher: You have crossed the line this time. Did you get the result of their 23&Me DNA test? Please don't assume their ancestry by their looks.

Caller: I don't know how to describe the suspect then.

Dispatcher: Yeah, that is not enough information for us to look around for the suspect. You have a great day.

Humans typically call 911 as a last resort during life threatening situations. But that is a luxury wild animals cannot afford in nature, who then have to take the law in their own hands to protect their life.

Remember the Botta's pocket gopher from this post ? I was recently in the same area where I saw that gopher, and this time I saw something making a ruckus in the soil. Lo and behold, it was my old friend.


"My friend, long time, no see. How have you been, buddy? Are you doing alright during these crazy times? Are you on team Moderna or Team Pfizer?" Despite my best attempt at small talk, my friend was not receptive to my greetings. I thought we were still friends.


I knew my friend had some emotions bottled up and I had to investigate if I was at fault. Being the noble soul I am, I knew I had to take the first step in mending this broken friendship. So, I entered its home, empty handed (Oh no, bad move, really bad)
Anyone there? I see a really spacious home. It's not just a tiny tunnel, this gopher is living large. There is plenty of room to even keep a mini fridge and a couch.


"I am sorry, I don't know why but I am sorry for whatever offended you", I said. "You did not like my...." and something zipped by before I could hear what it said.


After I stood my ground for the next 2 minutes, it ran towards the other side of the room. "You betrayed me!", it shouted.


"I don't understand," I muttered. Then, it rushed towards me while shouting "You did not ♥ my Instagram post at the beach even though I always ♥ all your Instagram posts. You took my friendship for granted."


"Well, I have ♥ 49 of your Instagram posts and you have only ♥ 28 of my Instagram posts, so you still owe me 21 ♥s" I retorted. And then, it made a move that sealed the fate of this friendship. It took my camera as a threat and started flinging soil towards me to seal its burrow and make me stop talking.



It continued its assault. "I always liked and trusted Moles more than Gophers. At least they stay loyal" I screamed in revolt. Who knew friendship could be so delicate.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Did you learn something new in this post? Let us know in the comments below

Tags

acorns adventures american crow ants aphids aquatic snails arachnids argentine ants bananas bark beetles barklice barnacles bats beaver bees beetle beetles bird lice birds black-tailed deer bloodworms bristletail bugs bumblebee butterflies canada goose carpenter bees carrots centipede cockroaches coot corvids court case crawfish crayfish crow crustaceans damselflies deer diatoms dock dragonflies earwigs eggs egrets european starlings eyes ferns fishes flea flies flowers freshwater snail frogs fundraiser fungus fungus-eating lady beetles galls geese goats goldfinch gophers grasshopper green dock beetle green heron green lacewing guest post gull harvestmen hawks herons history honeybees house sparrows india insects isopods jumping bristletails jumping spiders juncos katydid kayak lacewing lady beetles land snails leaf miners leafhopper lice lichens lizards lynx spider maggots Magpie mallow marsh megabats midges mildew millipede mites moles mosquito moths mouse spider nematodes nettles newt newts nuthatches oaks owl paper wasps parasite pavement ants pelicans pigeons pill bugs plants pocket gophers pollen pollination pollinators poppy praying mantis pseudopupil pupa quail rabbits roach roadkill rove beetles salamander salmon sandpiper scat Scorpions seals seeds shorebird silverfish skunk snails social media sparrows spiders springtails squirrels starlings stilts surf scoter swallows tarantula termites thrips ticks towhees trees turkey turkey vulture turtle venom vultures warblers wasps water boatmen webspinners whales wolf spider woodpeckers Wren wrens yellow jackets youtube

Featured Post

The case of the missing grasshopper

Hello folks who wonder if crime does not pay well at least the benefits are hard to dismiss, This case is about Gregory , a band-winged Gras...