Hello folks who wonder if the past 3 months demonstrated what a human hibernation would look like and why bears are always angry after they come out of one,

Have you ever walked by a pond or a lake and seen a turtle basking in the sun like there's no tomorrow and you think to yourself "Did this one get the 2nd stimulus check already?"
Turns out the reason has to do with something that works part time in Seattle: sunshine.
A Western Pond Turtle basking and asking not to be judged.

You see, when sunlight makes the trip from the sun to earth every day, it brings along some passengers. Some of them are ultraviolet rays. These ultraviolet rays can be classified as ultraviolet-A, ultraviolet-B and ultraviolet-C based on the amount of energy they contain. These co-passengers are stopped at the border crossing when they are entering earth. The ozone layer which is responsible for checking their passports and visas allows almost all ultraviolet-A rays to go through, stops 90% of ultraviolet-B rays and stops all the ultraviolet-C rays from crossing the border. So ultraviolet-C rays have to suffice itself with what visiting earth looks like by watching youtube videos of crazy vloggers.

Plants which are one of the top stakeholders of planet earth relish all the ultraviolet-A rays they can get, since they use that to make their food. Turtles on the other hand require more ultraviolet-B rays. Since about 90% of ultraviolet-B rays are blocked at the ozone layer, it has to spend longer times to make the most of it.
So the next question is, what does it do with that? You see, turtles cannot store vitamin D3 in their bodies and have to use ultraviolet-B rays to assist in producing Vitamin D3, which is what humans are eating these days like a bag of Cheetos. Vitamin D3 in turn helps in using the calcium in the food to make new bone tissues. Otherwise it will move around complaining about severe back pain and bone injuries.
That said, they will also use ultraviolet-A rays to regulate their feeding behavior and mood swings. (Who is stopping them from basking in the sun then?)

I asked this Western pond turtle to do something productive like watch Tiger King instead of just lying around and it said "Haters gonna hate!".

These days, one of my favorite pastimes is spooking Jumping Bristletails and watching them take off in the air. (Who are these cool sounding jumping Bristletails you speak of?)
The random direction they jump in and the drama they provide is unparalleled.
Below is one jumping it's way out of trouble.

It was so photogenic, that I decided to add some special effects.
This summer, watch how one insect gets itself out of trouble when all roads no longer lead to Rome.
Introducing "Jumping Bristletail: Detonate".
*Rated PG-13

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