Hello folks who wonder if it is a good thing that we can't communicate with animals yet else we would be facing a pile of defamation lawsuits starting from the great white sharks,

There are not many things in the world that give humans the motivation to keep on fighting despite living a depressing life. One is booze, one more is pastries. But there is one thing, that all mere mortals strive to win in order to validate their existence. The exclusive, elusive, the Oscars of the working class, the "EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH" award.

Now, there are two ways you can win this award depending on your workplace. One is by constantly praising your supervisor and management, laughing at their stupid jokes and always answering in affirmative regardless of whether you get the work done or not. The other is by being an eager beaver who consistently delivers a stellar performance and makes the rest of us look bad. The one who constantly works long hours, is the first one to arrive at work every morning, the one who skips lunch so they can help make thousands for the employer for a 15$ Subway Gift card in appreciation.

In the animal kingdom, most are of the latter type. Now if you were asked to visualize a bird taking a bath, this is how you would imagine.


But taking a bath like this is a luxury the overachievers of the animal kingdom cannot afford. They have to be constantly on the move and cannot spare precious life moments to be indulging in leisure. Barn Swallows are always caffeinated and don't want to slow down to take bath in order to cool themselves in the heat of the summer. So, while flying over a pond they will quickly plunge into the water, soak water into their feathers, swiftly recover from this dead stop, gather flight momentum and repeat all over again.


If you think about it, taking bathroom breaks is time wasted and efficiency lost for the employer. To be completely honest with you, the only reason humans take these bathroom breaks is so they can catch up on the latest gossip on which of the Kardashian sisters has yet another bun in the oven. Black-tailed deer think otherwise. They believe one does not have to stop working while taking a bathroom break. This buck (a deer who uses the he/him/himself pronouns on the twitter bio) is foraging when nature calls. You can tell it is about to poop by keeping its tail lifted and its butthole getting as big as the reader's eyes right now.


Being the champ it is, it keeps on foraging while expelling from the other side. Only when the money flowing in is going to be greater than the money flowing out, can the company make a profit. Look at the deer behind him shaking its head in disbelief and saying "I don't get paid nearly enough to put myself through this everyday"


Now, if you have ever observed deer poop before, it looks like bullet shaped pellets which a kid or an adult who is high can easily confuse for chocolate covered almonds.


Which makes people wonder why an animal the size of a deer has poop the size of pellets. You see, it boils down to its colon. The colon is part of the large intestine and its job is to extract the water and salts from the digested food so that only the solid part of the waste is expelled from the body, unless it was Taco Bell Tuesday for lunch, then all bets are off. In deer, this colon controls a muscle (called sphincter for those geeks out there) that opens and closes to expel waste, but unlike other animals who can keep that sphincter open for long periods of time and hence longer droppings. The colon of the deer rhythmically opens and closes the sphincter and hence the poop gets released in the size of pellets. This is how you can think of the example in terms of bread. You're welcome!

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