Hello folks who wonder how long will it take before graffiti shows up on the moon,

Life is hard. Sometimes when you have already hit rock bottom, life kicks you below the belt. At your lowest moment, you need something to help you break this cycle. A listening ear, a surprise $20 bill in your back pocket, a retweet from Kylie Jenner, supportive parents, a funny meme, an episode of 1000-lb sisters, a teeny hit of Fentanyl will go a long way to lift your spirits and help you break this monotonous deadlock in your life.

California Gull chicks are held captive in an egg where the eggshell acts as a protective barrier. Once their cell phone battery dies out and these chicks can no longer continue watching TikTok dance videos, they are left with no alternative but to break these eggshells so they can charge their phones.

During a recent California Gull Nest Survey, I got to witness a chick cracking open the eggshell and if you put your ear close to the egg one could hear a faint "Does anyone have a battery pack? I am running low on charge".


Gull chicks will use an egg or hatching tooth to assist them in hatching from their eggshells. This tooth is a small, pointed structure on the upper beak. They will use this tooth to create small cracks in the eggshell by applying pressure and making small movements with the egg tooth.


Observe the white "egg tooth" on the chick who is asking every passerby if they can spare a charger for a good cause. Not falling for that, chargers and pens once borrowed are never returned, I have learnt in life.


This egg tooth that has served its purpose will no longer be of any use and fall off within the week after the chick has hatched.

At the time when you get to witness the joy of birth and grab some low hanging Instagram likes, you are also reminded of the inevitable side of life.

Gulls can be victims of botulism by consuming organic matter decomposing in landfills. When organic matter decomposes in landfills, it creates a low oxygen environment that favors the growth of a bacteria called Clostridium botulinum. This bacterium once ingested will block signals from the nerves to muscles and ultimately lead to paralysis making the bird unable to move and ultimately die.

Below is an adult that seems stuck between the rocks, but is paralyzed in the lower half and is just waiting for its turn to be visited by the grim reaper.


And here is another one where a chick thinks its parent will take it to a bounce house next week. Even though the parent agreed to the plans, you as an observer know the truth. *wipes tears. I can't...I just can't...*sniffles... who will now attend the graduation of that chick when it graduates from kindergarten *sniffles


So, when humans looked at this bacteria they saw the death and destruction that this bacterium can cause. They soon realized that this bacterium was not a power to be messed with. Then, they looked at themselves in the mirror and wondered what if they could leverage the power of this bacteria for greater good. But how?

Enter Botox, which is injecting that same bacteria into your face so that it essentially paralyzes your facial muscles thus preventing them from contracting and ultimately getting rid of those wrinkles (albeit temporarily) that you otherwise need to spend an hour on photoshop to get rid of before posting your pic on Instagram. Gosh, humans are sick in the head. *checks Instagram right after.
Kylie, looking 🔥🔥🔥 in your new Instagram pic! Fan4LYFE! 🧡🧡🧡. She's such a natural.



Also, to my haters who think I just exploit wildlife for my social media gains, take this! So proud of you buddy, I can't wait to see you grabbing chip bags from beach goers in the near future.


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