Hello folks who wonder if speeches by humans should also follow a character limit like the one Twitter imposes,

Long time ago, 2 groups had an argument over what they should wear on their heads and their style of clothing. What started as passive aggressive comments quickly escalated to a "Don't you ever talk to me again" situation. The hate grew so much that they decided to do 2 different shifts at work so they would not cross each other's paths. Thus two separate families were formed: Moths and Butterflies.

You see, Moths either have a feathery antenna or a plain jane antenna and they prefer to work during the night shift. Butterflies on the other hand, like to spend most of their savings on shopping at Forever21 or H&M, sporting an antenna with a small club at the end, while working a 9-5 job.

Below is how the antenna looks for most moths and butterflies.

Then came along a family member of butterflies and said I don't really like the club at the end, because that is so old school, I want to wear a hook instead. Thus Skipper butterflies were born. Skipper butterflies are smaller in size than most butterflies and will make sudden short flights like it had some meth on its toast for breakfast.

Anyways, we shall not judge an insect by what it has for breakfast when we ourselves are eating Avocados on our toast which wasn't locally sourced.
You can easily distinguish them by their erratic behavior and hook shaped antennae.

Below you can see a Common Checkered Skipper wondering if it should take up a night shift next month for some extra pay.

Land snails have 2 pairs of tentacles on their heads, which when faced with a threat or just some good ol' performance anxiety will retract and wait for the moment to pass before emerging again. You see, humans depict a similar behavior but since they can't retract in their shell, they will resort to appearing busy on their cell phones. 

These snails have poor eyesight as they can perceive objects at mere 1-2mm from their eyes, but then why do they retract their tentacles when you are going to pick them up? It turns out their eyes are used to monitor the intensity of light, so when your shadow hits, it knows danger is approaching and it will duck for its safety. This light perception helps them to come out during night and retreat to shadier areas during the day.

Below is a Garden Snail whose eyes are emerging after it senses the coast is clear.

Psst...Hey..Pssst..yeah I am talking to you, do want to get rich fast?
Planting trees.
Oh, Boy! this is going to be easy, where do I sign?

Assume the year is 1873, there are a lot of immigrants migrating to California in hope for a better life and also to eat the world renowned quinoa and kale salad.
There is a lot of demand for wood for fuel as well construction of houses, so the Government decides to pass the Timber Culture Act which encourages folks to plant more trees and pay them $20(2020 inflation adjusted price) per tree grown after 4 years of care. This will help in converting all grasslands into a farm of trees, which should be a win-win situation for all.

Now you want that easy money but you are too lazy to nurture a tree, you don't even know the name of your 7th kid. So what do you do? Turns out there is a businessman from Australia who is promoting some kind of seeds for this job. Sure his accent is funny, but he says these trees grow very fast and require the least amount of care or water. Thus ladies and gentlemen, is how the Eucalyptus tree entered into our history books.

Below is one gracing the side of the road in Portola Valley.

These days if you go to a supermarket, it turns out you will see most of the produce is readily available except garlic. What is it about the pandemic that is making people crave garlic bread all of a sudden or is it the rumor that eating garlic helps prevent viral infection that is driving these shopping habits. It might just be both, nothing like eating a buttery garlic bread to calm your nerves while you watch the news channels 24x7.

Below is the state of garlic bulbs in the produce aisle at one of the local Safeway supermarket.

So what is the point you are trying to make here? That Taylor Swift is the best thing that ever happened to Pop music. No you nitwit, what is the point you were trying to make with Eucalyptus and Garlic in this post?

Aah yes, you see fear can be a strong motivator for your actions. Whether it was the fear of missing out on the opportunity to become rich in the 1800's or the fear of losing to the virus in present times. While fear has historically helped us run from mountain lions, in present times we know better. That standing up and throwing your granola bar at the mountain lion is the right thing to do because mountain lions suffer from nut allergies.

So the next time you see something scary like a spider in your apartment or a clown during halloween, ask yourself is this fear justified or am I temporarily suffering from cognitive paralysis which is stopping me from appreciating this moment.

Hence let fear not stop you next time from flossing the teeth of an alligator because who has the time to take a day off from work and the money to get dental fillings in these testing times.

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